I Do Again by Cheryl Scruggs

Author:Cheryl Scruggs
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307446084
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2008-12-16T00:00:00+00:00

It was nearly five years into the divorce. I sat restlessly in my usual seat at Starbucks near my house. People shuffled in and out pursuing their daily caffeine addictions. I’d gotten in the habit of coming here with my journal or my laptop, and for some reason the atmosphere comforted me. It wasn’t unusual for me to get into light conversations with people, but on this day I recognized one handsome man at a nearby table, and a familiar temptation popped up.

It’s just harmless conversation…

To give you the context, the previous evening, Jeff had stayed for dinner with the girls and me. We were having a nice time, joking and laughing, and I couldn’t help picturing us as the family we were always meant to be. After everyone had finished eating, I thought I’d try to extend the fun.

“Anyone up for a board game?”

“Yeah!” the girls chimed in and ran off to pick one. Jeff followed them into the other room, and soon I heard choruses of “No, Daddy, please stay.” I could hear his low voice and soon the girls seemed happy again. I don’t know what Jeff promised them, but they all came back, the girls hanging on Jeff’s arms, and headed for the front door. He glanced in my direction.

“See you later. Let’s talk tomorrow about my business trip next week.”

I followed them toward the door. “Girls, would you run and start your baths?” After lots more hugs and kisses for Jeff, they ran off.

“Do you have to leave? What’s so important that you can’t just stay a little bit?”

Jeff opened the door and stepped out on the porch.

“Cheryl, let’s not go there again, okay? I’m not trying to be rude. I just need to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He turned and walked to his car without a backward glance. I felt like I was at the end of my rope with Jeff. He was friendly enough and tried hard not to hurt my feelings, but that was all. I was out of patience.

As I mentioned, patience wasn’t a virtue of mine. I was always someone who could barely wait sixty seconds to warm up my leftovers in the microwave. I was being asked to continue being patient, even though I’d already been holding out for five years.

God—you’re kidding me, right? I gotta tell you, it’s not that funny.

Instant results—that’s what I wanted. I’d presumed that once I was willing to make this huge commitment—breaking it off with Todd, believing God for the repair of my marriage—then he would quickly come through with results. And in my timing, of course.

So sitting in that coffee shop, I was thinking how long it had been going on. And after all this time, it wasn’t even going anywhere. A sickening feeling came over me. It could even go on a lot longer than this, I thought. How could I possibly keep this up?

So rewind to where I looked up from my journal and saw this man I recognized at the next table.

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